With life's many responsibilities weighing down on us it is common for the resulting stress to affect our health, as well as our relationships. Often, we can avoid misunderstandings and negative consequences when we learn to understand and manage our temperament. We can avoid disagreements with family members or friends when we learn to control our attitude and actions.
In difficult situations, we may ask ourselves: how can I control my temperament and natural disposition? Taking time to understand and control yourself is especially prudent if conflicts involve family members, whether a spouse or child.
It is not uncommon for environmental stress to begin affecting your health and family relationships. Understanding how you behave and react can be the key to improving how you cope with stress, as well as how you interact with your family. The book of Proverbs tells us that "A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense," Proverbs 19:11.
In today's post, we discuss 6 ways we can use to control our temperament and to be happier by living in harmony with our family and friends.
1. Get to know your temperament
Wondering how to get started in controlling your temperament? First, get to know it. There are four types of temperaments: sanguine (optimistic, active and social), choleric (short-tempered, irritable), melancholic (analytical, wise and quiet), and phlegmatic (relaxed and peaceful). Perform an analysis of how you usually behave toward your emotions. What triggers you and why? How do you react? In an angry outburst? Do you hold it in? Do you sulk? Figuring this out can help you begin to know yourself.
"...although it is painful for us to know ourselves as we really are, yet we should pray that God will reveal us to ourselves, even as He sees us..." 1 Select Messages 312
2. Observe yourself
One of the important steps when you already know your temper is to see how it affects your relationship with other people. What characteristics of this temperament are harmful to you and which ones are beneficial? Do you hold everything in? Perhaps this is good because it means you don't react immediately with words or actions you can never take back. This is something you can work with. However, it may not be good because you never resolve issues. This is something to work on.
With this information, try to change what is no longer working for your relationships.
"Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you...?" 2 Corinthians 13:5
3. When you are more relaxed, talk about what disturbs you
Take the opportunity when things are calmer and you are more relaxed to talk to your family or friends about what is bothering you. Voice what disturbs you without attacking them, simply showing your point of view.
"But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased." Hebrews 13:16
4. Control your thoughts
It may seem impossible, but we can all choose what to think. We often allow negative things to occupy our thoughts and let ourselves get carried away by them. Pay attention to what you think and how it affects you. Do not feed thoughts that stimulate the conduct you want to change. Would you like to be less critical of people? Every time you catch yourself thinking of something negative about someone—your boss, your spouse, your children, your pastor—stop yourself. Find something positive about them instead.
"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things [are] honest, whatsoever things [are] just, whatsoever things [are] pure, whatsoever things [are] lovely, whatsoever things [are] of good report; if [there be] any virtue, and if [there be] any praise, think on these things." Philippians 4:8
"For as he thinketh in his heart, so [is] he..." Proverbs 23:7
5. Good humor is always the best medicine
Try to keep a good-natured outlook about life's setbacks. There is no way to suffer from a bad temper with a good-humored outlook on life. Optimism can be a good weapon to face the difficulties of everyday life.
"A merry heart doeth good [like] a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones." Proverbs 17:22
6. Do not hesitate to ask for help
Sometimes when we experience serious troubles in life, we think we can solve everything ourselves. Knowing when to ask for help, and knowing that it is the right thing to do, is critical. Seek help from a friend and/or a professional to help you. Our heavenly Father is also ever willing to help His children in transforming their character to one more like His. Never hesitate to ask Him for help.
"They helped every one his neighbour; and [every one] said to his brother, Be of good courage." Isaiah 41:6
"...and it shall come to pass, when he crieth unto me, that I will hear; for I [am] gracious." Exodus 22:27
Originally posted in Portuguese here.