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The Reformation Herald Online Edition

To Feed a Hungry World

The Dignity of Motherhood
Part 2 of 2
Inneka Lausevic
A good all-round education

The idea that women do not need a good education if they choose motherhood as their career is a misconception. I believe that mothers require a better education than most trade and professional people. For instance, if you don’t have a good grip on the concept of aerodynamics, who is going to answer your 4-year-old when he asks, “Mama, how do planes stay in the air?” (and many other technical questions like it).

You are responsible for the foundation of your child’s education, and answering those “how” and “why” questions is more important than most people realize. You do need to know your Math, English, Science, and Social Studies as well as at least the basics of Biology, Physics, and Chemistry. It would be good to mention, however, that this education should be in both physical and mental areas.

“Students should be encouraged to combine mental and physical labor. The physical powers should be developed in proportion to the mental faculties. This is essential to form an all-round education.”1

A good education, especially for a woman, is never wasted. The key to well-educated, intelligent children is a well-educated, intelligent mother (and, of course, a father who is the same helps a lot too).

“It is the duty of mothers to cultivate their minds and keep their hearts pure. They should improve every means within their reach for their intellectual and moral improvement that they may be qualified to improve the minds of their children.”2

Career training

I believe that every mother or future mother should have career training of some sort to her credit. Even if you never expect to use your qualification, it is still worthwhile to obtain it. For one thing, you never know when you might need it, and for another thing, it will improve your mind, self-discipline, outlook on life, and sense of accomplishment. “Woman should be trained to some business whereby she can gain a livelihood if necessary.”3

One thing worth mentioning is that it is best to stay inside your talents and interests when you choose career training. If you have always been good at math or if you spent your childhood longing to be an astronomer, then go ahead and make that your career. Don’t choose something else on the pretext that it is more respectable or will earn you more money, or even that the training will be shorter. Wages and reputation are not the most important factors in career choice; job satisfaction is worth much more than monetary reward or esteem. I say that in hindsight, as I feel that I made the wrong choice in my career training. I knew that my talents lay in art and writing, but I chose Electronic Engineering instead. I thought that art and writing would not earn me enough money to live on. I really enjoyed studying electronics, but it wasn’t my first interest. Later on, I took the opportunity to study art and writing, while carrying on my job as a full-time mother. It would have been so much better if I had taken that career direction in the first place instead of having to juggle studies and homemaking years later.

Keep up your education

Your education does not stop when you graduate from high school or college/university. All adults, and especially women, should constantly learn new things and acquire new skills.

“Instead of sinking into a mere household drudge, let the wife and mother take time to read, to keep herself well informed, to be a companion to her husband, and to keep in touch with the developing minds of her children.”4

The concept of lifelong education is one that should also be passed on to children by precept and example. If your children realize the importance of constant learning, they will be better equipped to make their way when they are adults. They will not be contented to only improve their knowledge in their chosen field, but will educate themselves in a wide range of areas. If they want to change their career at some later date, they will not be hampered by insecurities or hesitation over whether or not they can do it. Education is a lifelong process, and should be viewed as such.

One important outcome of this learning attitude is that individuals who recognize the value of education tend to be the ones who devote daily time to study the Word of God and to research the foundations of our faith.

Homemaking skills

Homemaking is a very complicated job that takes the utmost talent and expertise, and it is never too early to start learning. Homemaking involves much more than just knowing how to cook and clean and care for children. Homemaking is not about how to clean, but how to keep the house clean. Not how to shop smart, but how to track household provisions and keep them replenished (economically). Not how to cook, but how to plan nutritious, tasty, regular meals.

Not all women are proficient in all this before they become wives and mothers, but a prior training does make it much easier. An accomplished homemaker friend is a treasure, but if you don’t have one to learn from, there are books on the market that teach homemaking. A lot of the books and articles by Ellen White also have many wonderful hints in them. If you are currently a mother and homemaker, take the time to educate yourself in areas in which you feel you need to make progress. It will transform your home into a more organized, peaceful place, and it will give you extra time as an added advantage. “The Lord has need of mothers who in every line of the home life will improve their God-given talents and fit their children for the family of heaven.”5

Passing it all to your children

Teaching skills are essential for a mother. We must learn to be educators so that we can bring up our children in the nurture and admonition of God. Love for God, manners, character virtues, work ethic; the foundations of all these are learned by small children from their mothers. How you teach is just as important as what you teach, so it takes a lot of research and practice.

“I am thoroughly convinced that to realize a permanent change for the better in the morals of society, the education of the masses must begin with their early lives. The mother must be the first teacher through that stage of life in which the foundation of character is laid. The guidance of the child, in its first years, is almost wholly committed to her.”6

One of the most important accomplishments for boys, as well as for girls, is in the area of homemaking skills. Modern trends have established a very important fact that home-making is done by the whole family. The mother is not the person who does everything. She should be the director and coordinator, not the slave.

“God desires both parents and teachers to train children in the practical duties of everyday life. Encourage industry. Girls—and even boys who do not have outdoor work—should learn how to help the mother. From childhood, boys and girls should be taught to bear heavier and still heavier burdens, intelligently helping in the work of the family firm. Mothers, patiently show your children how to use their hands. Let them understand that their hands are to be used as skilfully as are yours in the household work.”7

Soul-saving skills

The most important skill for a mother is that of soul saving. Missionary school should not be reserved for prospective Bible workers or ministers but should be especially promoted to future parents. Perhaps if every parent were taught to be a soul saver, ministers would have time to enter new fields of labor. Parents have the privilege of a captive, pliant audience, who believe everything we say. We get to mold the character, morals, attitudes, and life outlook of our children, not to mention establishing in them a knowledge of God and the Bible. What minister would not envy our advantages! Ministers and Bible workers have in their care people who have characters and values practically set in stone. A lot of adults struggle against the result of a faulty upbringing for the rest of their life. Mothers, don’t give away the opportunity to give to your children the gift of a happy childhood and firm, godly characters. We can make or break the life of our children. If we are not faithful, we could ruin our children.

“The mother has a power in her hands which she should use to the glory of God. She can build up a noble, virtuous, steadfast character in her children; or she can, by indulgence or by manifesting impatience and passion herself, encourage in them those traits which will prove their ruin. The sphere of the mother may be humble; but her influence, united with the father’s, is as abiding as eternity. Next to God, the mother’s power for good is the strongest known on earth.”8

Never give up

Child-rearing can be compared in a way to marriage. Happy newlyweds are convinced that their marriage is going to be the best in the world. They enter into their life together with high ideals and a heart full of affection for each other. As time goes by, however, the couple may discover annoying habits in each other, and their idealism gets a little jaded. Marriage starts to become a matter of hard work and can only be a success if each partner makes a constant decision to love and cherish the other, despite their differences.

Parenting kind of fits the same progression. The newborn baby is so precious, and nothing is too hard or too time-consuming to do for that little piece of humanity wrapped up in a blanket. Both mother and father are determined to be the best parents in the world and to raise their child perfectly. However, after a few years, the responsibilities don’t get any easier, and the precious baby turns into an obstinate toddler. As much as the parents love their baby, child-rearing can only be made a success by hard work and dedication. There must be a constant decision by parents to invest the best years of their life in raising this treasure given them by God. This is the crucial point that decides the destiny of both parent and child, in which we either put our best efforts into our work, or just drift with the current. What will your choice be?

Mothers, our work is of great consequence, and we are promised wonderful rewards for a job well done. Let us resolve to devote our best efforts to our child-rearing careers, instead of taking the modern way out and allowing others to do the job that we were given. The immediate reward is the wonderful happiness and satisfaction to be found in homemaking. But the greatest joy will be when, standing in the presence of God, we are each able to say, “Behold I and the children which God hath given me” (Hebrews 2:13).

“There is a wide field of labor opened before every mother. If her work is wrought faithfully, in the fear of God, it will bring forth fruit unto eternal life. The mother’s work should begin at home. This is the fountain-head from which her influence and usefulness should flow. If her duties here are discharged with fidelity, she will see all around her fields where she may work with the best results. And by-and-by those words from her Master will fall as sweetest music upon her ear - ‘Well done, thou good and faithful servant. Enter thou into the joy of thy Lord.’”9

References
1 The Spalding and Magan Collection, p. 54.
2 Mind, Character, and Personality, vol. 1, p. 167.
3 The Health Reformer, December 1, 1877.
4 Child Guidance, p. 73.
5 The Review and Herald, December 5, 1899.
6 The Health Reformer, November 1, 1877.
7 The Review and Herald, September 8, 1904.
8 The Health Reformer, March 1, 1880.
9 The Signs of the Times, September 29, 1881.