Be thou diligent to know the state of thy flocks, and look well to thy herds” (Proverbs 27:23). This is a statement we need to consider more soberly today than in times past.

Have you ever noticed in our world today how children are going in one direction and parents in another? Even in the Christian community you see this separation of the family. We see children conversing with other children away from their parents and children playing unattended at camp meetings. Children and youth are sitting together in church or during fellowship meal. But they are not under the eyes of their parents. This is out of order in the plan of God.

Let us look into the design that the Lord had in mind for the human family. In the first chapter of Genesis we find a story of innocence, purity, selflessness, companionship, and love. What a world to behold! God’s creation masterpiece was Adam, made in His very own image, and Eve was the finishing touch of His creation. God looked upon all that He had created and said it was “very good.” And indeed it was, for here we see the family circle complete. Man, woman, and God. This is the original design intended for the human family. But something happened. Eve separated from her husband. Eve then listened to Satan. The couple did not cleave to one another! Herein we need to look individually and as a body of believers and examine whether we are truly following God’s principles for our family or whether we are following the enemy’s counterfeit.

The scriptures further tell us that prior to the time of the exodus, “Moses said, We will go with our young and with our old, with our sons and with our daughters, with our flocks and with our herds will we go; for we must hold a feast unto the Lord. And [Pharaoh] said unto [Moses and Aaron], Let the Lord be so with you, as I will let you go, and your little ones: look to it; for evil is before you. Not so: go now ye that are men, and serve the Lord; for that ye did desire. And they were driven out from Pharaoh’s presence” (Exodus 10:9-11, emphasis supplied).

“Pharaoh had endeavored to destroy the Israelites by hard labor, but he now pretended to have a deep interest in their welfare and a tender care for their little ones. His real object was to keep the women and children as surety for the return of the men.”1

When Pharaoh finally decided to let Israel leave Egypt, we read the following: “And he called for Moses and Aaron by night, and said, Rise up, and get you forth from among my people, both ye and the children of Israel; and go, serve the Lord, as ye have said. Also take your flocks and your herds, as ye have said, and be gone; and bless me also. . . . And the children of Israel journeyed from Rameses to Succoth, about six hundred thousand on foot that were men, beside children” (Exodus 12:31, 32, 37, emphasis supplied).

The Israelites obeyed the directions that God had given. Swiftly and secretly they made their preparations for departure. Their families were gathered, the paschal lamb was slain and the flesh roasted with fire, the unleavened bread and bitter herbs were prepared. The father and priest of the household sprinkled the blood upon the doorpost and joined his family within the dwelling. In haste and silence the paschal lamb was eaten. In awe the people prayed and watched - the heart of the eldest born, from the strong man down to the little child, throbbing with indefinable dread. Fathers and mothers clasped in their arms their beloved firstborn as they thought of the fearful stroke that was to fall that night. But no dwelling of Israel was visited by the death-destroying angel. The sign of blood - the sign of a Saviour’s protection - was on their doors, and the destroyer entered not.

Brethren and Sisters, your children were given to you to love, care for, and train up in the Lord. Are you gathering your children by your side and preparing them for the final scenes that are about to take place?

The Hebrews could answer yes to all these questions. The patriarchs taught their own children. These families were fulfilling their responsibilities according to God’s original plan, for God, in the garden of Eden, had placed the family together, equipped with all that was needed - two parents working hand in hand with God. As long as this plan was followed, they lacked in no area.

We see in the life of John the Baptist the results of following God’s original plan. John had parents who were faithful to God and their home above. They were not preoccupied with position, salary, or in using their time selfishly. As a result of this, John was equipped to stand in the presence of monarchs and worldly great men. He had the character of “steel” when it came to upholding God’s word.

The life of Jesus is an example of how God put the family unit together. Jesus was taught by His parents at home just as the patriarchs were. He stayed in their care for some thirty years. Side by side He watched and learned from His father, mother, and siblings. He was sheltered from the negative surroundings and associations. It was there He learned a skill and the Scriptures which formed His character. You might say at this point, “My children need to be taught on their level; they can’t understand what adults are learning”. But Jesus addressed all ages in a manner in which all could understand. He never sent the children away so He could only address the adults, nor did He send the adults away so He could only address the children. Jesus never divided or segregated.

I have watched my children over the years, and I can say with firm conviction that their greatest desire is to be learning by our side. We read together, we plant the garden together, we walk together, we wash dishes together, we go to the store together, we even worship and study together in church, never sending our children away alone.

“The Sabbath and the family were alike instituted in Eden, and in God’s purpose they are indissolubly linked together. On this day more than on any other, it is possible for us to live the life of Eden. It was God’s plan for the members of the family to be associated in work and study, in worship and recreation, the father as priest of his household, and both father and mother as teachers and companions of their children. But the results of sin, having changed the conditions of life, to a great degree prevent this association. Often the father hardly sees the faces of his children throughout the week. He is almost wholly deprived of opportunity for companionship or instruction. But God’s love has set a limit to the demands of toil. Over the Sabbath He places His merciful hand. In His own day He preserves for the family opportunity for communion with Him, with nature, and with one another.

“Since the Sabbath is the memorial of creative power, it is the day above all others when we should acquaint ourselves with God through His works. In the minds of the children the very thought of the Sabbath should be bound up with the beauty of natural things. Happy is the family who can go to the place of worship on the Sabbath as Jesus and His disciples went to the synagogue - across the fields, along the shores of the lake, or through the groves. Happy the father and mother who can teach their children God’s written word with illustrations from the open pages of the book of nature; who can gather under the green trees, in the fresh, pure air, to study the word and to sing the praise of the Father above.

“By such associations parents may bind their children to their hearts, and thus to God, by ties that can never be broken.

“As a means of intellectual training, the opportunities of the Sabbath are invaluable. Let the Sabbath school lesson be learned, not by a hasty glance at the lesson scripture on Sabbath morning, but by careful study for the next week on Sabbath afternoon, with daily review or illustration during the week. Thus the lesson will become fixed in the memory, a treasure never to be wholly lost.

“In listening to the sermon, let parents and children note the text and the scriptures quoted, and as much as possible of the line of thought, to repeat to one another at home. This will go far toward relieving the weariness with which children so often listen to a sermon, and it will cultivate in all a habit of attention and of connected thought.

“Meditation on the themes thus suggested will open to the student treasures of which he has never dreamed. He will prove in his own life the reality of the experience described in the scripture:

“ ‘Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and Thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart’ (Jeremiah 15:16).

“ ‘I will meditate in Thy statutes.’ ‘More to be desired are they than gold, yea, than much fine gold. . . . Moreover by them is Thy servant warned: and in keeping of them there is great reward’ (Psalms 119:48; 19:10, 11).”2

Church schools and Sabbath schools were put into place as an aid to help the parents, not to replace the parents. But I am afraid that it has become the latter. Children should be counseled to remain with their parents.

“The moral taste of the worshipers in God’s holy sanctuary must be elevated, refined, sanctified. This matter has been sadly neglected. Its importance has been overlooked, and as the result disorder and irreverence have become prevalent, and God has been dishonored. When the leaders in the church, ministers and people, fathers and mothers, have not had elevated views of this matter, what could be expected of the inexperienced children? They are too often found in groups, away from the parents, who should have charge of them. Notwithstanding they are in the presence of God, and His eye is looking upon them; they are light and trifling; they whisper and laugh, are careless, irreverent, and inattentive.”3

“The evil influence around our children is almost overpowering; it is corrupting their minds and leading them down to perdition. The minds of youth are naturally given to folly; and at an early age, before their characters are formed and their judgment matured, they frequently manifest a preference for associates who will have an injurious influence over them.

“Could my voice reach the parents all through the land, I would warn them not to yield to the desires of their children in choosing their companions or associates. Little do parents consider that injurious impressions are far more readily received by the young than are divine impressions; therefore their associations should be the most favorable for the growth of grace and for the truth revealed in the word of God to be established in the heart.

“Let the youth be placed in the most favorable circumstances possible; for the company they keep, the principles they adopt, the habits they form, will settle the question of their usefulness here and of their future, eternal interests with a certainty that is infallible.

“Parents, your sons and daughters are not properly guarded. They should never be permitted to go and come when they please, without your knowledge and consent. The unbounded freedom granted to children at this age has proved the ruin of thousands.”4

Let us again look very closely at the above paragraph, where it says “before their characters are formed and their judgment matured.”

At what age are we to start weaning our flock? Is it at age 8 or 12 or 18? An article in the Family Circle magazine, entitled “The Young and the Restless,” reports that scientists at the National Institute of Mental Health used Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) scans in order to track changes in the teen brain over a period of 10 years. They discovered that during the teenage years, the human brain is actually going through an intense period of rewiring and isn’t fully mature until about age 20. Most startling is the fact that the last part of the brain to come completely online is actually the prefrontal cortex - the center of reasoning and judgment! This explains why teens can understand information but still tend to act impulsively out of emotion, without thinking ahead. Therefore, if we truly love our young people, how can we prematurely turn them loose at a very vulnerable time in their life when they are not yet equipped psychologically or even physically to exercise consistently sound judgment? No wonder so many spiritual, mental, and moral disasters occur in the life of persons in this age group! If only we as parents kept closer to them at this crucial time in their life instead of stepping back too soon, how many sorrows and woes could be prevented!

Not before the age of 20 do young people come to the age of full accountability. From birth through age 20 is a waiting time when one, first as a child and then as a young person, is learning about God’s ways and preparing for adulthood when he or she can make more mature decisions. Here are some typical examples in Bible history:

• A 20-year-old was called a man. Leviticus 27:2, 3.

• A 20-year-old was able to go to war. Numbers 1:3.

• A 20-year-old was held accountable. Numbers 14:29.

• A 20-year-old was able to work in the house of the Lord. Ezra 3:8.

The Spirit of Prophecy also uses this measurement as a minimum age for deciding upon marriage. “A youth not out of his teens is a poor judge of the fitness of a person as young as himself to be his companion for life.”5

Thus we see a significant thread running consistently in the Lord’s timetable for maturity. Until that 20-year timeframe has been completed, the fruit is not yet ripe.