Perhaps, you think, there’s no need to worry - they are just on the computer in their bedrooms doing homework. Do you allow your children free access to the Internet in the privacy of their bedrooms? If so, do you realize that this provides sexual predators and all sorts of evildoers a virtual highway of access to their mind - especially through certain web sites and chat rooms which individuals disguised as fellow young people frequent to gather information about your children, seeking them as a prey? Parents, “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour” (1 Peter 5:8). Be aware that modern technology, as helpful as it can be - does not always operate exclusively for our best eternal interests. We need to be cognizant that evil is too often mingled with good. In the Garden of Eden there was the tree of knowledge of good and evil. The mother of us all plucked its tempting fruit, thinking to gain knowledge - to become wiser. Very quickly she began to doubt and question her loving Creator, and the result was disastrous.

By the way, with whom are our children talking on cell phones during church breaks, and in the afternoons of the sacred Sabbath hours? Might we further investigate: Are the conversations between mere children or youth usually of a holy, uplifting nature? Not to mention even, how did these precious little souls obtain and gain free reign of an expensive item such as a cell phone in the first place? For purposes of godly edification? Not likely.

Moreover, what possible logical reason could a parent conjure up as an excuse for a three-year-old having free reign of a cell phone? Sounds a bit bizarre? Nonetheless, this does happen.

In reality, magnifying a given circumstance such as Internet or cell phone use will not change the situation of losing our children to the world. That is just one small symptom. While recognizing things such as these may prove essential, the real problem stems much deeper. As parents and as fathers and mothers in spiritual Israel, we should rightfully blame ourselves if our children are slipping into the hands of the enemy’s camp. I used to have a little piece of paper posted to my mirror with a note: “You are looking at the problem.” Parents would have enough to do, should each family closely examine its own family relationship. The time has come for a thorough confession to God. Beforehand, parents remain the real problem, acting as “root and offspring” of their children’s actions. Perhaps things of the world, particularly jobs, have overwhelmed parents and many appear too rushed to spend quality time with the family.

A few years back, while visiting in Oklahoma at the home of my sister, I decided to prepare an evening meal for their family. At that time, my sister’s three children (my two nieces and one nephew) were all teenagers and all living at home with their parents. After preparations were complete, I summoned the family to the dinner table. The entire family including the husband and the children were elated over this seemingly simplistic act.

What my sister’s family revealed to my ear years ago astonished me. The entire family could not remember the last time they had actually sat down as a family unit and shared a meal together. I suspect a memorable bonding session, and a lasting impression developed from this single experience. I still recall those happy smiling faces and the warmth of love cherished at my sister’s dinner table during that momentous Oklahoma evening meal.

Sometimes, families have already made great strides to place the family unit in seemingly close-knit ties. They have packed their bags and moved into the beautiful hills, mountains, or rolling countryside. Parents have sacrificed and have given the children a fine, down-to-earth Christian home. That is just what, for the sake of family, the people of God might obediently do - right? The action could prove right, and if one does the math, it might even add up correctly. Yet, have we also heard of families living in the country with teenagers who beg Mom and Dad to take them to the city? The cry goes up from the bored child: “To the mall, to friends, out to eat pizza!”

Actually, is there anything wrong with shopping at the mall on occasion or eating a nice vegetarian or vegan pizza or visiting friends? Each of these actions depends on the motive. Parents should closely critique their own motives in everything. How about a child’s motive? Do children and youth actually want to play video games and just “hang out” (loiter) with their friends, wasting precious time?

“Young men who habitually mingle in the little groups gathered in stores or on the street, ever engaging in discussion or gossip, will never grow to the proportions of men of understanding.”1

Is the reason for going to town to gaze at the fashion shrines in the mall display windows, and for our youth to educate themselves to dress as much like the world as possible, with all the glittery sequins and jeweled attire, tight clothing, or the opposite extreme of super-baggy and layered loose (to the point of falling off) clothing and such? (The list broadens. . . .)

Honestly, when some of us were teenagers, would even our non-Christian parents have let us out the front door onto the street if we were wearing what most of our youth wear today?

Who is responsible? Who decides what our children should wear? Aren’t you concerned when you see your own precious, now-curvaceous daughter roaming the streets in attire suitable for a harlot? Or your noble son now approaching manhood, slouching around like a beggar or bum?

Yes, we must not go to extremes. A child should not be made to feel so peculiar as to be “a gazing stock.” But who really forks out God’s money on ungodly children’s apparel? Again, the question is asked, where is the money coming from to purchase the pizzas, the clothing, and the video games? Perhaps the children are earning some of their own already. But they are still under your roof!

“You excuse yourself by saying that your children are now beyond your control, too old for you to command. In this you mistake. None of your children are too old to respect your authority and obey your commands while they have the shelter of your roof. How old were Eli’s sons? They were married men; and Eli, as a father and a priest of God, was required to restrain them.”2

“Parents are responsible, in a great degree, for the characters which their children develop. Would that every father and mother could see that in their own home is a missionary field in which they may work unitedly for the salvation of the precious souls committed to their care.

“It is a sad fact, almost universally admitted and deplored, that the home education and training of the youth of today have been neglected. The father, as the head of his own household, should understand how to train his children for usefulness and duty. This is his special work, above every other. During the first few years of a child’s life, the molding of the disposition is committed principally to the mother; but she should ever feel that in her work she has the cooperation of the father. If he is engaged in business which almost wholly closes the door of usefulness to his family, he should seek other employment which will not prevent him from devoting some time to his children. If he neglects them, he is unfaithful to the trust committed to him of God.

“The father may exert an influence over his children which shall be stronger than the allurements of the world. He should study the disposition and character of the members of his little circle, that he may understand their needs and their dangers, and thus be prepared to repress the wrong and encourage the right.”3

“ ‘No time,’ says the father; ‘I have no time to give to the training of my children, no time for social and domestic enjoyments.’ Then you should not have taken upon yourself the responsibility of a family. By withholding from them the time which is justly theirs, you rob them of the education which they should have at your hands. If you have children, you have a work to do, in union with the mother, in the formation of their characters.

“It is the cry of many mothers: ‘I have no time to be with my children.’ Then for Christ’s sake spend less time on your dress. Neglect if you will to adorn your apparel. Neglect to receive and make calls. Neglect to cook an endless variety of dishes. But never, never neglect your children. What is the chaff to the wheat? Let nothing interpose between you and the best interests of your children.”4

Brethren and sisters, we are in a crisis. If one has never experienced the opportunity, try teaching a youth’s or children’s class in our Sabbath schools, camp meetings, or other holy convocations, and one will easily observe attention, concentration, behavior, and even discipline issues among students. One might further note where children wish to sit during church services. Do our children cheerfully, obediently sit beside their parents - or do they prefer to nestle against “adopted” parents? Or farther yet, are they snuggling close to cherished friends as immature as they themselves? How about if they plop down alone on the very last, farthest back pew in the entire sanctuary? Are parents picking up on these non-verbal messages from their children? Do parents listen and hear these silent cries for attention? If parents need to force their children to come up and sit with them, it is a symptom that something is seriously wrong. Possibly the parents might be willing to move to where their children are, but if they’re not together, something is gravely amiss.

“The moral taste of the worshippers in God’s holy sanctuary must be elevated, refined, sanctified. This matter has been sadly neglected. Its importance has been overlooked, and as the result disorder and irreverence have become prevalent, and God has been dishonored. When the leaders in the church, ministers and people, fathers and mothers, have not had elevated views of this matter, what could be expected of the inexperienced children? They are too often found in groups, away from the parents, who should have charge of them. Notwithstanding they are in the presence of God, and His eye is looking upon them; they are light and trifling; they whisper and laugh, are careless, irreverent, and inattentive.”5

To blame all of what is happening to our children on the parents alone would be misleading. Sometimes, the children have reached “the age of accountability” and stand as much, if not more, in fault of their own lack of spirituality. Nonetheless, parental neglect stands paramount as the leading cause of losing our children to the world.

“Parents should study the best and most successful manner of winning the love and confidence of their children, that they may lead them in the right path. They should reflect the sunshine of love upon the household. There are no influences so potent, no memories so enduring, as those of childhood. The parents’ work must begin with the child in its infancy, that it may receive the right impress of character ere the world shall place its stamp on mind and heart.

“While the spirit of love should pervade the household, it is the duty of parents not to be ruled, but to rule. All under the roof should respect the parental discipline. The law of the household should be held sacred. Parents should bring up their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. By their own example they should lead the way to heaven. The father, as priest of the household, should explain and enforce the word of God. Let the children be taught to honor and obey their parents, that they may also learn to honor and obey their heavenly Father. Parents stand in God’s place to their little ones. When fathers and mothers realize this, they will find at home a field wherein to exercise their powers for the accomplishment of great good.

“There are two ways to deal with children - ways that differ widely in principle and in results. Faithfulness and love, united with wisdom and firmness, in accordance with the teachings of God’s word, will bring happiness in this life and in the next. Neglect of duty, injudicious indulgence, failure to restrain or correct the follies of youth, will result in unhappiness and final ruin to the children, and disappointment and anguish to the parents.”6

Parents, do you desire the companionship of your children in heaven? Then why not appreciate them now - while you have opportunity? Why not diligently seek to prepare them for heaven while the last moments of probation still linger? Clearly, child rearing is a complex undertaking. In a united and decided effort, the church ultimately needs wisdom from God to rightfully accomplish all within its power to disappoint the enemy’s plans to dissolve the family unit and snatch our children from the church and place them in the world. Honestly, it is only by faithful adherence to the principles of present truth and constant, earnest vigilance that we will be able to rightfully claim the promise: “Shall the prey be taken from the mighty, or the lawful captive delivered? But thus saith the Lord, Even the captives of the mighty shall be taken away, and the prey of the terrible shall be delivered: for I will contend with him that contendeth with thee, and I will save thy children” (Isaiah 49:24, 25).

Through God’s grace and power of deliverance, may our choices today place our children together with us faithfully and firmly on the Lord’s side, instead of allowing them to be trapped in the subtle, yet iron clutches of the world!