As human beings, we continually fail, including in home life—whether by action or omission. Such failures frequently offend our loved ones, just as their faults may offend us. Generally, these involve only small matters. But sadly, in some families, more serious situations arise, including abuse and violence. It then may may become necessary to seek a safe place and report the situation to the appropriate authorities.
However, regardless of the circumstances, the gospel teaches us not to give place to resentment—the refusal to forgive—in our hearts.
“Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:21, 22).
“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:31, 32).
Why should I forgive?
A psychology journal tells us that “forgiving frees us from nega-tive feelings such as resentment, anger, and revenge. When these emo-tions dominate a person, the worst aspects of their nature are expressed, causing physical and psychological harm both to themselves and to those around them.
“Some individuals remain resentful toward others and carry ongoing bitterness for long periods of time, which is extremely harmful to both parties. Ultimately, those who do not forgive limit their capacity to love. Forgiving does not mean forgetting, but rather remembering what happened while remaining at peace with others and with oneself. Even when the injustice suffered has been great, it must not completely consume us. It is necessary to forgive. This is a great challenge that requires maturity and experience.”¹
To free ourselves from every root of bitterness, we must forgive even those who do not repent of their wrongdoing. This does not mean that ev-erything will return to the way it was before. But despite the pain someone has caused us, we choose to forgive because it is liberating and brings peace.
By His own example, Christ invites us to practice the highest expression of love, which is forgiveness. While being crucified, His greatest “response” was to pray:
“Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).
Only those who have Christ in their hearts are able to truly for-give. (1 John 4:20, 21.) We must also forgive because it is a condition for receiving God’s forgiveness:
“And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses” (Mark 11:25, 26).
Practicing forgiveness in the home
“Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness” (Colossians 3:12–14).
“It does not pay to persist in having one’s own way, to be unwilling to yield in the little things which are of small consequence, thus bringing bitterness and wrath into the home. Life is too short, too full of sorrow. Let each one be kind and considerate of the other. Never let the sun go down upon your wrath. Never close your eyes in sleep without making right the little, pettish difficulties which hurt and bruise the soul.”²
Ideal moments to ask for forgiveness in the home
“Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath” (Ephesians 4:26).
“Among the members of the household there is ever to be a kind, thoughtful consideration. Morning and evening let all hearts be united in reverent worship. At the season of evening worship let every member of the family search well his own heart. Let every wrong that has been committed be made right. If during the day, one has wronged another or spoken unkindly, let the transgressor seek pardon of the one he has injured. Often grievances are cherished in the mind, and misunderstandings and heartaches are created that need not be. If the one who is suspected of wrong be given an opportunity, he might be able to make explanations that would bring relief to other members of the family.”³
“Before the setting of the sun let the members of the family assemble to read God’s word, to sing and pray. There is need of reform here, for many have been remiss. We need to confess to God and to one another. We should begin anew to make special ar-rangements that every member of the family may be prepared to honor the day which God has blessed and sanctified.”⁴
A prophecy for families today
“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse” (Malachi 4:5, 6).
“If you have failed in your duty to your families, confess your sins before God. Gather your children about you and acknowledge your neglect. Tell them that you desire to bring about a reformation in the home, and ask them to help you to make the home what it ought to be. Read to them the directions found in the Word of God. Pray with them; and ask God to spare their lives, and to help them to prepare for a home in His kingdom. In this way you may begin a work of reformation; and then continue to keep the way of the Lord.”⁵