Stress affects us all in various ways. Many stressful events are beyond our control. However, we can set ourselves up for failure or success by the way we habitually think and act. Here are a few common vices that tend to poison our mind: criticism, complaining, and worry. Harboring these vices weakens our family, church, and society. By eliminating these traits, our emotional intelligence improves and so does our temporal and eternal success.
1. Criticism- Many stressors come from unrefined comments and critical remarks spoken without grace and love. To experience emotional healing, embark on a two-week experiment where you do not speak any unwholesome or critical speech. Not all criticism is bad. However, constructive criticism is most palatable when sandwiched between affirmation. “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt,” Colossians 4:6. Affirmation is the salt of criticism. Affirm the hearer before and after a critical comment, thus what would be bitter and repulsive becomes pleasant and winsome.
2. Complaining: Those who complain experience more depression, anxiety, and worries, and experience less satisfaction and happiness in life. This is because their minds hone in on all the negative aspects of life, and they dwell upon these features. Complaining is verbalization of our frustrations when things don’t meet our expectations and is the fruit of self-righteousness and entitlement. The cure for complaining is gratitude! When we realize we don’t deserve all the blessings in our lives, complaining will be replaced by gratitude. Paul says “Do all things without grumbling or questioning,” Philippians 2:14. “Nothing tends more to promote health of body and soul than the spirit of gratitude of praise, -- Ministry of Healing, p. 251.
3. Worry: Worry reacts to the possibility of danger rather than the probability of danger. Worry is dissociative hyper-vigilance focusing on non-threats, causing us to miss actual harmful events. In addition, chronic, unceasing worry causes a plethora of health complications, such as a weak nervous, cardiac, and immune system. Unhealthy worry and fear focuses on our inabilities and weakness, rather than on God’s omnipotence and strength. “Worry is blind and cannot discern the future” -- Ministry of Healing, p. 481. The cure to unhealthy worry is trust in God. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding," Proverbs 3:5.
Emotional Intelligence is bolstered as we train our thoughts to wade and rest on the shores of eternal omniscience. “Then shall I not be ashamed (or anxious), when I have respect unto all thy commandments,” Psalms 119:6. To respect means more than just reading random verses. It means to ponder, picture, and personalize God’s Word in our lives. For this to happen, we need to give our undivided attention to reading, meditating upon what we read, and communing with God. By noting, quoting, and devoting, we experience greater peace and a reduction in anxiety and stress. “You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You,” Isaiah 26:3.
God sent His Son into the world to save us from sin. In this redemptive process, criticism, complaining, and fear surrounded Him like an ocean, yet He submitted to persecution and hate and carried the burden of sin without critical rhetoric or complaining. Let us submit to His will and ask Him for power to save us from our vices, self-righteousness, and fear.